What is it really like to be married to a foreigner?
For her sake, she left everything. Home, mother, sisters, brothers, work on television, ambitions, dreams and ... me. Fortunately, that there is Internet. We regularly chat on Viber. But what is Viber when you see it a year? At best ... In general, this story is about my beautiful friend Sabrina, who fell in love with an Italian, bore him a child and moved to Italy for permanent residence. Of course, Sabrina is a pseudonym. More precisely, her secret name. As a child, she told dad that when she grew up, she would leave for New York and everyone would call her Sabrina. The childhood dream did not come true, but I still call it Sabrina. In my opinion, it's fun.
In Sabrina, a sea of positive qualities. She is beautiful, and her beauty is graceful, non-vulgar. She does not know how to envy, but she can compassionate. Her charm, lightness, openness and kind heart always attracted the views of men. There were many admirers around her. But she knew how to keep a distance and never crossed the line of what was permitted.In our care and selectivity, we are like her ...
In Russia, she had a rich beautiful life. She worked as a producer on one of the best television channels, made wonderful intellectual programs, organized interviews with high-ranking people. One day after work, we jumped into the pharmacy - my throat ached wildly, and while we were standing in line, one military expert called Sabrina and asked me to announce a list of the main issues to be discussed in the upcoming program. As I remember, the topic was “The overthrow of Moammar Gaddafi in Libya.” People who were standing nearby watched in amazement as this adorable beauty skillfully uttered such clever words ...
In material terms, Sabrina, too, everything was fine. Apartment, expensive car, traveling the world, beautiful clothes. Sabrina, of course, loved all this, but at the same time remained a man. She knew how to see the main thing. In all. I think that is why her life is now emerging as it is ...
It all started a few years ago, when, on her vacation, Sabrina decided to learn photography skills in her beloved Italy. And among the new Italian friends He met. Military.Beautiful. Other. Interesting. At that time, she was 30. Him - 40.
But you need to understand that an Italian in 40 and a Russian in 40 is like heaven and earth. Young, charming, athletic, with a sense of humor, inquisitive, strong. And most importantly - free (in Russia at 25 such beautiful beauties are long occupied, and this one has never been married
And nothing surprising, in Europe, it is not customary to bind yourself early by marriage). And how courted! And how to cook! Sabrina did not really like to cook, but to scrub the floors - with pleasure! In general, they got along great. Further meetings, flights back and forth, amore mio and "oh God, we will have a child!". He cries with happiness and swears in eternal love for his son's mother. True, it took him two whole years to get his fatherhood and transport them to him for good. Why so long? Until the end, it is known only to him and to God. He was always on the phone, came on holidays, gave the child expensive gifts. Due to severe pregnancy, Sabrina had to give up work. All the rest of the time she raised the child alone for her savings. Financially, he almost did not help. Parting with the bachelor life was not easy for him.Anyway! All resentments in the past. Actually, he's a great dad. In the child does not mind! Gone, cherish, love! He spends all his free time with his family. Only here to make out their relationship with Sabrina is in no hurry. Although the second kid is on the way. And I do not doubt that he loves her, but when it comes to marriage, he says: "Where is the hurry? We live together. ” Do not think, he is not a muddy guy with dirty thoughts, he is just different.
At first, I also angrily screamed Sabrina into the phone: “He is already in his fifth decade, and he is“ where to hurry ”? And nothing, that you live there on bird rights? If it happens, you'll stay at the broken trough. And he will not give you children!
"Do not panic! Here they get married very late, no one is in a hurry! At all! Measured and comfortable lifestyle. In all. Men in 40 behave like children. And their parents treat them like children, ”Sabrina soothed me and myself.
Yes, integration into a foreign culture, as it turned out, is not easy. The fact that we, Russian women, seem unacceptable and ugly, there may be the norm. How do we speak? If a man is not married before 35, then something is wrong with him. And there exactly the opposite! If married to 35, then a fool.And I feel sorry for my girlfriend ... Having moved there, she immediately put an end to her career. Russian diploma there - filkina diploma. For the sake of the family, she sacrificed her professional ambitions, her talent. But Italians see it differently. They believe that the Russians are going to Italy for a better life. And Russia is a third world country. Poor and dysfunctional. Attitudes towards Russians there, as we have towards migrant workers. Honestly. The most that Sabrina can claim is a tourist guide or nanny job. Well, maybe waitresses. Having taken her to Italy, the father of her child probably thinks that he gave her a beautiful life. And he does not understand that in fact the move for her is in many ways a sacrifice.
And I was surprised at the attitude of the Italians towards Russian women ... Between us girls, I don’t want to offend anyone, but in Italy, for example, there is a shortage of beautiful women. And this is a fact. But men are more beautiful than one. This is visible to the naked eye. And if you delve into the materials on this topic, you can see this interesting explanation of historians. Many of them believe that the whole fault is the Inquisition, which for several centuries reigned in Italy.In witchcraft suspected, as a rule, beautiful women. Here are all of them and slaughtered. And, of course, the Italians today perceive the beautiful Slav women as rivals. When Sabrina moved to Italy, the old girlfriends of her child’s father whispered and said: “She’s a prostitute! She will show you more! ”In response to such insults, Sabrina poured herself tears.
Imagine you are alone in a foreign country and you are called a prostitute just because you are a beautiful Russian! How painful and humiliating it is. And this is another sacrifice that Sabrina had to make for the sake of her family.
Sabrina admits that the Italians are very noisy and too sociable people. Their house is ALWAYS full of guests, from which their head hurts. And she just can not get used to it. As well as the fact that the former girlfriends of the father of her child are constantly writing to him and calling by phone. They say, “it’s customary to be friends”, and “for some reason you react to it aggressively,” “are all Russians so aggressive?”.
Sabrina still cannot get used to the fact that guests, entering their house, never slip out. Even in the rain. She does not let the mop out of her hands. Local food seems surprisingly tasty for only the first two months. Then you want buckwheat, and buckwheat is not there.As well as herring, and cottage cheese, and pickles. Nowhere. Not in one store. And they do not eat soup. More precisely, did not eat before the arrival of Sabrina. Then the Italian had to love borscht.
Sabrina admits that constantly speaking only a foreign language is very difficult. Psychologically. Therefore, once or twice a week, she meets Russian wives from online communities in a cafe or on the beach. The girls pour out each other's souls, solve common problems, listen to Russian radio, relax, rest. After all, they have common memories, common jokes, one upbringing. Now she cares about every little thing related to her native country. She constantly watches Russian television and perceives any taunts about our country as a personal insult. She speaks with her son only in Russian, and he, alas, answers her only in Italian. Sometimes Sabrina cries because she misses her mom.
I'm sure He loves her. He tries to make her so good there. He just is not Russian Vanya. He is different. And there can be no better Russian than Vanya. However, as the best Russian women.
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