How to say about the offense
Silence is not always gold
Silence is not the best tactic to declare your insult. Perhaps, if you are curled up for a few hours, lie on the sofa, sulk and examine the wall, your opponent will suspect that you are not all right. However, he can write off your condition as a grievance, and stomach cramps. And if you answer the question “Did something happen?” That everything is in order, the problem will remain unresolved. Do not waste time and do not turn the troubles that can be solved into universal problems, start the conversation.
Sometimes resentment is very strong. She is strangling, and I want not to talk, but to run something into the person who brought it to that. In this state, it is not necessary to start a dialogue. You can not cope with their feelings - take a short break and go out into the street. Run through the park, turn on energetic and aggressive music in the player, which will help you to splash out your feelings, kick a stone rolling on the road or break a fallen branch. When the storm of emotions in your soul subsides, go back home and start talking.
Let's talk about feelings
Many are afraid to talk about their grievances, since their words may seem to the partner reproaches and cause aggression, and not the desire to come to a compromise. Try not just to list the transgressions of your loved one that caused your indignation, but emphasize your feelings. Let it be not just dry "You forgot to wash the dishes." Tell us how tired you were at work and, upon returning home, you expected to have a quick bite in the clean kitchen and finally have a rest, but instead you had to do the cleaning. At that moment it seemed to you that you are not loved, and your work is not appreciated. Such an initial message can hardly be regarded as an attack, and you can work with it: to apologize, to assure the warmest feelings towards each other and to schedule an apartment cleaning.
It is quite possible that you have a good memory, and you didn’t forget how five years ago your close person handed you a bouquet of lilies for which you are allergic, and forgot to take you to the hospital during work at all. However, it is not necessary in one fell swoop to throw out on the opponent all offenses, especially the long-standing ones.Discuss the current problems at the moment, because your goal is not to humiliate a person by making him wrong in everything, but to find a way out of a situation that does not suit you.
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