How to let go of love

How to let go of loveMany centuries ago, the wise King Solomon understood the price and value of parting, the price and value of entering a new phase of life.

He wrote the following lines:

Everything has its time, and the time of every thing under the sky:

time to be born, and time to die;

time to plant, and time to pull out the planted;

time to kill, and time to heal;

time to destroy, and time to build;

a time to cry, and a time to laugh;

time to mourn, and time to dance;

time to scatter stones, and time to collect stones;

time to hug, and time to shy away from hugs;

time to search, and time to lose;

time to save, and time to throw;

time to rend, and time to sew;

time to be silent, and time to speak;

a time to love, and a time to hate;

time of war, and time of peace.


But where does love and the ability to love? And where. Sometimes it is necessary to understand that it is time to let go of the beloved, to let him do what he is determined to do, is a manifestation of true love. If you reconcile with reality, abandon attempts to change a person and control someone else's life, you are performing a great feat of love. The case of Joy is a great example of this.


To let go means to surrender, capitulate, allow reality to be exactly as it is. How to let go of love? When I say "let go," I mean the rejection of attempts at control, from manipulation, from the desire to make a loved one change his intentions. It is about accepting the truth. Sometimes the most correct thing that a lover can say is to say such words to a loved one: “I understand what you want. And I agree that you are free to do what you want. "


Do not misunderstand me: each of us has free will and can act as he sees fit. Therefore, you do not give the person permission to be free - he is free even without you. You have no control over his will. What you do is meaningful to you first and foremost. You tell yourself that you will no longer hold your loved one. In addition, in your own words, you tell your loved one in passing that you accept and value his choice.


The ability to let go is not innate. By nature we strive to keep relations with people under control. In our view, those around us should love us with exactly the love that we expect from them, and to love on demand.Natural impulse - to persuade the situation or person in their favor, to get what they want. We say to small children: “I will teach you to talk to me politely!” But this does not work with adults. The laws of love and relationships are different. Love values ​​freedom for both the lover and the beloved. We said that where unfreedom appears, there can be no love. But control violates freedom, so the lover should not resort to it.


Just think: if anyone could force everyone to love themselves, it’s God. He alone has the right and authority to do whatever he wants. But He does not violate our will. For our freedom He is ready to take pain. Remember the cry of Jesus Christ. He wept for the people who rejected His love and salvation: “Jerusalem, Jerusalem, killing the prophets and stoning those who were sent to thee with stones! How many times have I wanted to gather your children, as a bird gathers its young under its wings, and you would not! ”(Matthew 23:37).


God can let go. But, letting us go, He lets us know: if we ever come back and follow Him, we will do it voluntarily, and not because He made us. God does not intend to keep people under control. Nothing good will come of it.But if we come to Him of our own free will, then our life will take place.


So, to let go - at first sight there is evil. But on closer examination it turns out that there is a good in it. And not only for your beloved, but also for you. Letting go, accept reality is painful and difficult. And how can it not be painful when your loved one goes against you or moves away from you? But whenever you put up with what is happening, rather than trying to reshape it for yourself, you win. The pain that is present is not eternal. When you learn to let go, heavy feelings will go away. And over time - although now you don’t believe in it - life will not only get better, but it will become even better.

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