How to bring it to the registry office
First, let's look at the reasons why men generally begin to think about marriage?
Reason number 1: improved financial position
"Dowry" in the form of the state of the parents, living space and other bonuses attract some of the magnet. This is a marriage of convenience, we will not talk about it.
Reason number 2: manifestation of sentimentality
“They lived happily ever after and died on the same day” - this is how most Russian fairy tales end. A man can talk endlessly about his great-great-grandfather, who lived a happy family life with his faithful number of years. Yes-aaa, men can be even more sentimental than we are.
Reason # 3: dream of an heir
For many men, the impetus for the wedding can be a desire to have children. Like, I'm already 35, and still there is no heir. Here's a younger brother has a son in middle classes ... Often such a hasty decision turns around that a man marries the one that will provide him healthy offspring.
Reason number 4: quality sex
At some time, a man discovers that he is experiencing real pleasure in bed with only one partner. With others it turns out not so bright or at all.And hapless Casanova stops. He is frightened by the prospect of impotence, and he offers the hand and heart of the one with which everything is fine.
Reason number 5: the best option
For some men, a push to visit a registry office may be ... betrayal of a permanent partner. Well, there are some men who need “airing” in consistency. Constantly comparing new women with her faithful friend, he decides that the rest of her cannot hold a candle: “Nobody cooks any better than her, she always tidies at home, always takes care, is an inventor in bed. Well, can someone be better? ”Such a quiet comparison helps a man to calmly decide:“ I'm getting married! And then at least a flood! ”
Here, perhaps, all the reasons. But if a man cannot decide to marry in any way, is it possible to push him to this? Of course, only this should be done unobtrusively. I will list several options, and you can choose which one suits your character, the character of your man and your life situation.
Cunning number 1: "What kind of wife do you need?"
This trick is useful in the early stages of dating, but if you didn’t raise the question then it’s time to do it now.
We ask very little and love to think out for others.But do not be so. Ask your man, and what wife does he need? Who exactly does he want to see next to him? It may well be that he considers the girl who is ready at any moment to go off with him on a journey, on a visit, on a camping trip, or on one who is well prepared, watching the house, running in the mornings as a good life partner. Or maybe he wants to see his wife as a business assistant, wants to work with her side by side, competing in business ideas and making it happen. Knowing his true desires, you will not only be able to behave accordingly, but also help him to think about the wedding.
Trick # 2: "I do not want to marry myself"
No man will tolerate infringement of his freedom. And so do not impose a wedding, release this idea at all. Give him the opportunity to independently manage his time, let him have his own interests, let him devote some time to them. And at this time you are engaged in yourself - sign up for photography courses, learn how to mount videos, weave afrokosy, meet with friends. Stay in the community, enjoy it. Be self-sufficient, interesting, contented with yourself.Maintain social hunger in relation to the beloved man. Surely he will be afraid that someone else will lead you away and will offer to tie the relationship to marriage.
By the way, such a trick is simply priceless if your chosen one has already been married and has suffered psychologically from a past marriage. By behaving unobtrusively, you will show him that you respect and accept his feelings for the past family, do not interfere with your duties (for example, take your son to kindergarten). And of course, you will need maximum tact, patience and effort to melt the ice in his heart in relation to marriage.
Cunning number 3: conditioned reflex
The Russian scientist and physiologist I. P. Pavlov in his studies told us about the conditioned reflex, which is formed under the action of the conditioned stimulus. Namely: before feeding the dogs, he rang the bell. Then he simply rang the bell and watched how the salivation started in the dogs - the preparation for the diet.
You can use this mechanism in a relationship with a man. Let him have many associations with you. Let the pleasant moments spent together, he connects with a good song (include it more often).If you have a pleasant event, dress in the way he likes (for example, the beautiful green dress). Repeat cute tricks with the song and green dress constantly. Associations should be fixed. Well, the easiest way: if you have a favorite scent (assuming that your man likes it), use it when you go on a date. Feeling the scent of perfume in a place where you do not, he will definitely think about you. In a word, more pleasant associations and fantasies.
Cunning number 4: positive emotions
We all get married / marry in pursuit of positive emotions and impressions. To pave the way to his heart as quickly as possible, surround him with strong positive emotions. Why strong? Because a strong impact leaves in the person the most vivid emotions associated with places, objects, people.
If he does something pleasant and you want him to do it more often, react violently. Unexpectedly, I presented a gift - rush to the neck, cuddle, prepare something tasty, etc. In general, somehow in Russian culture it is not customary for adults to rejoice too much, to jump from happiness, to scream, but in vain.This is one of the free ways to give your partner an incomparable pleasure.
Cunning number 5: repetition - the mother of learning
The incentive "repetition" is actively used in advertising. You can take advantage of this technique, sometimes recalling your talents, the merits of your personality and appearance. Talk about everything to which he responds positively. For example, say that your mother has always praised your long hair, and hairdressers now and then give you compliments about their density. If the boss noted your organizational talent, be sure to tell about it. It is important to proceed with caution and not to praise yourself.
Trick number 6: use fatigue
Probably, you met such an idea in psychology that a person is less critical to new ideas at the end of the day, or when he was very tired. Use this opportunity. If at seven o'clock in the evening you tell your chosen one how wonderful he is, he may have enough strength to challenge this statement. But by eleven or twelve o'clock at night the resistance of people drops sharply. If he is not at work tomorrow, talk at this time. As if unobtrusively say that he is very important to you, that you could be a good wife to him.Again, do not forget: you can not crush ("Urgently get married!"), You can only advertise yourself slightly.
And bad advice will be?
Yes. One. The most common.
A losing option to lure a man into a registry office will be ... rigged pregnancy (if the man did not ask for the child). Many people mistakenly believe that by conceiving a child, they will secure a happy family life for themselves in a full-fledged family. This is not true. First, men do not tolerate any pressure (I am ready to talk about this every five minutes). And it is quite logical that many people may perceive your news about pregnancy precisely as pressure, set up, betrayal: “We didn’t agree on this!” , and even completely evaporate.
And secondly, as already mentioned in the last article “When and how does the father instinct manifest itself?”, The father instinct is a conventional concept. In some men, it is turned on immediately, in others - after the birth of the spouse, in the third - when the child begins to recognize faces, and in the fourth - in general by school age. So it is possible that in this situation you will not see the wedding, nor fatherly care as such.
Therefore, if you want to transfer your relationship to a new stage, use less drastic measures, which we talked about above.
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